You can follow Kristin on Tumblr, Twitter and at NBA-Offseason—where she’s a contributor. She works for a college sports network in Chicago, but she’s way cooler than P.J. Franklin. Read all her answers throughout the day here.
Joakim Noah walks up to you at a local watering hole in Davenport, Iowa and asks if you would like to smoke a bowl—with him. What is your reaction? Do not spare me the details, and it’s OK to call him a homophobic hypocrite; although, I also think it’s unfair. I mean, he grew up in SoHo! That is the single dumbest reason why someone wouldn’t be a narrow-minded bigot, but that’s another question entirely. Basically, tell me if Joakim Noah has any sex appeal? Also, I want to know what you think about a trade involving Noah (plus a ton more) for Dwight Howard?
Oh man. An opportunity to socially observe/dissect “Joakim-face”? Yup. I mean, I wouldn’t inhale, you know, because growing up Iowan means I was fed a diet of morality and austerity and bacon. Lots of bacon. Moving on!
My reaction would be somewhere between “OMG yeah okay sure, I can do that, that sounds like something I could do. Can I play with your hair?” and “Are children afraid of you because I kind of am, a little, ha ha, go Bulls?” The weird (or interesting, pending your take) thing about Joakim is how truly divisive he is. I’ll admit without hesitation that I hated everything about him when he played for Florida: his style of play, his unbridled displays of emotion, his face, his French heritage, literally everything. But I remember watching that draft, and trying to be mad, but when he posed with Stern…I laughed. And despite some struggles this year, it appears he’s endeared himself to the organization.
I can’t support a trade for Howard. I won’t. As fantastic as it would be to have him here with Rose, who would be left? What would be left? The single greatest adjustment the Bulls made to their roster in the 90s was trading Will Perdue for Dennis Rodman, and while Derrick Rose isn’t really comparable, I don’t see a place for Superman in the Chi. Joakim may be an idiot, but he’s our idiot. I guess. Basketball!