The NBA Dribbled Out

Here’s a pro tip for some of my younger readers/followers: as you age, you’ll start to understand that salivating over a picture like this limits—or at the very least narrows—your purview for beauty.

That’s not to say this Laker girl tryout picture isn’t enjoyable, and not just for a certain component of mealy-mouthed beer crushing high school linebackers; it is nice in a Animal House sort of way, but you’ll realize that some of these young lasses (but not all) may possess personalities as synthetic as their hair color. Also, their looks (regardless of race or ethnicity) are homogeneous enough they could be in a line-up together. There is no place for Nikki Giovanni on a cheerleading squad (and this makes me sad). 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a Laker girl, or being attracted to one. There is something wrong with only wanting to be a Laker girl and only being attracted to the Laker girl aesthetic* because it’s a self-contained fantasy, and not even a particularly interesting one. Also, the picture begs the question: where are all the minorities?

I don’t want to ruin your enjoyment of this photo, I just want you to think about whether you find this picture sexy because of some hollow definition of beauty on the media’s part (white, blond, straight hair, big tits, tight ass), or if maybe you enjoy the non-fiction writings of Tucker Max a little too much. If Death is the mother of Beauty, She’s telling most of these girls to go eat a cheeseburger. 

Perhaps more likely, I’m just a ponce of a guy, 2nd wave feminizing on an innocuous picture of the Laker girls, and this isn’t the forum for a stridently didactic post on beauty in-the-eye-of-the-beholder type ish. Be attracted to whomever you want, I’m no fascist. 

*I hate to mansplain about some broad definition of Laker girl types, but most people know exactly what I’m talking about, and that’s not sexist (mainly it’s the predominance of Caucasian women); it’s just culled from a lifetime of experience looking at professional cheerleaders.