The NBA Dribbled Out

David Stern says he’s stepping down February 1, 2014, having reached the 30 year mark as the commissioner of the league. Right now he’s the longested tenured commissioner of a professional sports league and if he makes it to the date mentioned, he’ll best Pete Rozelle’s 29-year reign turning professional football into the concussion-smattered, billion dollar behemoth it is today. Deputy Adam Silver, will take over.

Because it’s Stern, most of the season previews are already up, and the season hasn’t started yet, some people* wrote some words about the announcement. Lets go through them, and try and shield ourselves from all the mentions of Stern’s “legacy;” a word I now hate with the power of a thousand suns:

• CBS Sports’ Eye on Basketball blog has a timeline of Stern’s career in the NBA.
• Chris Sheridan writes “whether you hated him or despised him, David Stern was a genius.” I actually agree with this sentiment.
•  Rob Mahoney, now writing at SI’s The Point Forward blog, posted a similarly paradoxical swan-song “Despite Stern’s transformative effect, fans will always view him as a villain.”
• Steve Ashburner, writing at the NBA Hangtime Blog.
• Lynn Zinser at the Off the Dribble Blog, asks “Where does Stern rank among commissioners?”
• Ian Thomsen at Sports Illustrated writes that “Amid success and controversy, Stern’s legacy will endure.”
• For ESPN, Brian Windhorst brings the specifics, J.A. Adande talks about his power struggles, and True Hoop’s Henry Abbott writes about the man that will replace him as commissioner of the league, the bespectacled Adam Silver. Who, according to one redditor, bears a resemblence to some character I’ve never heard of, and I’m too lazy to google.
• Ken Berger at CBS looks at his legacy.
• Howard Beck mentions how “transformative” Stern’s tenure was as commissioner (if you had the over on the word “transformative,” being mentioned at 1.5 times in a headline, then you’re a winner!)
• Dan McCarney at Spurs Nation writes that “Stern’s legacy: plenty of room for criticism, but not as bad as you think.” I actually did have the over for mentions of the word “legacy” in the headline, so I won! Winners receive a tin of Bumble Bee tuna, which smells like garbage. 
• Buzzfeed, a site synonmous with literary-minded, long-form journalism scaling the very highest levels of intellectual erudition, posted a gif with some words. (why do I get the impression Kevin Lincoln gave a lot of wedgies in high school?)*
• Andrew Greif, at Dime Mag, provides the 5 biggest issues Adam Silver will face as the new commissioner. And bravo, for finally taking a different angle on this.**
•  Pro Basketball Talk, has video of the announcement. I haven’t watched it, so I’m not sure it’s Stern actually talking about “stepping down,” as opposed to retiring, but whatever. I’m already worn out by Stern coverage, and I’ve only been doing this for an hour.
• Oh hey look, Marc Stein talks David Stern’s LEGACY. OK, it’s official: legacy is WAY over the odds I set with myself on the number of times it would be included in a headline, and we’re not even into tomorrow when editors are grasping for more ways to incorporate Stern into an SEO-friendly headline. 
• Whoops, I spoke too soon: “Nothing but net: Stern’s legacy is sterling.” 

[Pics of Stern via SI Vault]

*By this I mean: every single person that writes about basketball on the Internet****

**And yes, I’m aware I’ve been very gif-heavy lately, and I’m sure Buzzfeed provides some combination of words that form actual sentences about sports, they might even provide orginal content about sports (though that’s highly doubtful), but Lincoln’s contributions leave me feeling as if I just received a poorly done brain transplant; like I’ve just watched a Lady Gaga music video on loop for 3 hours with my eyes peeled back like Burgess’ Alex in A Clockwork Orange. 

***Full disclosure: I sometimes contribute to Dime Mag, but holy hell, they appear to be the only ones that can attack this news with something approaching an original perspective. Why is this?

****I hope Trey Kerby, Dan Devine, Eric Freeman, or Kelly Dwyer figure out a better angle. They’re my last hope!