The NBA Dribbled Out

You can follow Kristin on Tumblr, Twitter and at NBA-Offseason—where she’s a contributor. She works for a college sports network in Chicago, but she’s way cooler than P.J. Franklin. Read all her answers throughout the day here.

Question:

When does Luol Deng turn into a 20 and 10 guy that is an incredible offensive presence? Is that not a possibility after his knee surgery?* What are your thoughts on Luol Deng? Can the Bulls win a championship with him as their third offensive option? Also, can he be their LeBron stopper (Trademark: Gerald Wallace on the Cavaliers)?

Answer:

*He didn’t actually have surgery on his knee, so I’ll just touch on his injury “problems.” (he did get injured in the 2009 season, missing half the season, but he never had surgery on the knee, Ed.)

He’s had some trouble with his knee and his leg, but he was in effect the most consistent and impactful player for us last season, apart from Derrick. Unfortunately, I don’t think he’s quick enough to be a ‘Bron-stopper, but his perimeter defense in the Playoffs made me a very happy lady. I think Deng gets overlooked on offense – you never see him go for the deep 3 or fancy dunk, and even when he drops 40 on the Blazers you don’t really see him celebrate. In an NBA that fights to be talked about by the “mainstream media” (which I happen to be a part of), conservative small forwards with a penchant for midrange jumpers unfortunately don’t merit much airtime or discussion. His presence within and amongst his team is much stronger than his offensive output (both real and perceived), and while I’m not sure he’ll ever arrive at the level you suggested, I’m excited to see what he does with a shortened season.

Question:

Is Tom Thibodeau a less outspoken Scott Skiles guy, or do I have subconscious racism against bald, Caucasian coaches?

Answer:

WHY I NEVER…

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You can follow Kristin on Tumblr, Twitter and at NBA-Offseason—where she’s a contributor. She works for a college sports network in Chicago, but she’s way cooler than P.J. Franklin. Read all her answers throughout the day here.

Question:

Joakim Noah walks up to you at a local watering hole in Davenport, Iowa and asks if you would like to smoke a bowl—with him. What is your reaction? Do not spare me the details, and it’s OK to call him a homophobic hypocrite; although, I also think it’s unfair. I mean, he grew up in SoHo! That is the single dumbest reason why someone wouldn’t be a narrow-minded bigot, but that’s another question entirely. Basically, tell me if Joakim Noah has any sex appeal? Also, I want to know what you think about a trade involving Noah (plus a ton more) for Dwight Howard?

Answer:

Oh man. An opportunity to socially observe/dissect “Joakim-face”? Yup. I mean, I wouldn’t inhale, you know, because growing up Iowan means I was fed a diet of morality and austerity and bacon. Lots of bacon. Moving on!

My reaction would be somewhere between “OMG yeah okay sure, I can do that, that sounds like something I could do. Can I play with your hair?” and “Are children afraid of you because I kind of am, a little, ha ha, go Bulls?” The weird (or interesting, pending your take) thing about Joakim is how truly divisive he is. I’ll admit without hesitation that I hated everything about him when he played for Florida: his style of play, his unbridled displays of emotion, his face, his French heritage, literally everything. But I remember watching that draft, and trying to be mad, but when he posed with Stern…I laughed. And despite some struggles this year, it appears he’s endeared himself to the organization.

I can’t support a trade for Howard. I won’t. As fantastic as it would be to have him here with Rose, who would be left? What would be left? The single greatest adjustment the Bulls made to their roster in the 90s was trading Will Perdue for Dennis Rodman, and while Derrick Rose isn’t really comparable, I don’t see a place for Superman in the Chi. Joakim may be an idiot, but he’s our idiot. I guess. Basketball!

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You can follow Kristin on Tumblr, Twitter and at NBA-Offseason—where she’s a contributor. She works for a college sports network in Chicago, but she’s way cooler than P.J. Franklin. Read all her answers throughout the day here.

Question:

Please explain to my audience of zero, what the fvck is the deal with Taj Gibson? I mean, that dunk was OK, but it was on 6’4” Dwyane Wade. This bothered me so much. I wrote about it a few times. The dunk was really awesome, but not “HOLY SHIT LET ME POST PICTURES OF THIS EVERYWHERE” awesome. Just sayin’. Also, can he make the leap from exciting role player to a full-time starter who puts up nice averages of 15 and 8?

Answer:

I love Taj Gibson. Not really for any logical, measurable reason, but what’s that song about love being blind? Isn’t that a song? Anyway. I belong to a small sect of Bulls fans that share a tacit understanding re: Taj being a calculated selection made by a historically scrupulous (also, cheap) organization that does things the way they want, when they want, the right way. Usually.

Granted, his FG% has gone down a bit since his days at USC, but his shot blocking – what he was known for – remains a dominant asset. He’s reliable: last season he dealt with four separate deaths, three being childhood friends, one being his grandfather … yet he still played in 80 games. Not to mention he was waaaay better than Boozer in the postseason, and won minutes over him based solely on the fact that he has a defensive game to speak of. He has work to do offensively, but if this team is, to continue my use of sports clichés, gelling in the way they claim to be, I think that will come, and I think you’ll see his minutes/averages go up.

And that dunk. Ah, that dunk. It was more symbolic than anything else, especially as it happened in G1 (along with another really great one at the end of the 4th) of an ECF no one expected us to win. And as the series progressed, I found myself revisiting it in hopes it would remind me that we can contend, that we will contend, one day. Hopefully soon. Ideally this year, but I can wait.

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You can follow Kristin on Tumblr, Twitter and at NBA-Offseason—where she’s a contributor. She works for a college sports network in Chicago, but she’s way cooler than P.J. Franklin. Read all her answers throughout the day here.

Question:

Carlos Boozer was horrendous in the playoffs last year. Many called for the Bulls to dump him (Amnesty) or trade him; although, I’m not sure who would trade for him (Minnesota? KAHHHHHHHNNNNN!). What does Boozer have to do this year to assuage the fears of Bulls fans that think his contract will screw the Bulls for the foreseeable future?

Answer:

Well, he’s off to a good start – have you seen him lately? Gar Foreman’s saying he’s like ~20 lbs. lighter. Which is great! But I’m wary of calling it much more than that. Injuries are always a concern, especially with this shortened season and numerous back-to-backs on the schedule. When Boozer is strong, i.e. healthy, he does indeed possess the ability to be a difference-maker on offense. 2007-08 with the Jazz proves that. He just needs to get out of his own head, if that makes any sense? It certainly doesn’t help to have a fanbase that boos you (more than once) during the Playoffs. I can’t claim innocence in this regard, but again, this is Chicago, and in Carlos’ case I think we were more than fair.

To get specific, he’s been on his YMCA-grind when it comes to defense. Seriously, what’s his deal? Why am I more inclined to believe in the mental capacities of Carlos Boozer the Rapper? Hahahaha, he finished with five personal fouls in Game 1 against the Pacers while still somehow managing to concede 22 points to Tyler Hansbrough. Tyler Hansbrough, who never closes his mouth. Tyler Hansbrough, whose nickname is Psycho T! In my mind, Boozer’s first season with the Bulls is represented via a single incident that didn’t even occur in-season and which involved the following: a contract for $80 million, a gym bag, a stumble, a fall, a broken hand, my broken spirit. Sounds about right.

I guess theoretically the Bulls *could* use amnesty, but who would want that contract? Even Kahn isn’t that obtuse. No, Boozer will remain a Bull for the next few years. Let’s say I’m cautiously optimistic as to how he’ll use that time.

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You can follow Kristin on Tumblr, Twitter and at NBA-Offseason—where she’s a contributor. She works for a college sports network in Chicago, but she’s way cooler than P.J. Franklin. Read all her answers throughout the day here.

Question:

Can Kyle Korver ever look tough, and why does his resemblance to that “LYING, CHEATING WHORE OF A MAN” ASHTON KUTCHER, always make me feel like he’s frightened? See also, that breakaway LeBron had on him in the playoffs and the gif worthy look on his face? Does this even matter, since he’s a role player/3-point specialist with no defensive abilities?

Answer:

It matters. Korver will get time at shooting guard if we don’t end up snatching Hamilton*. What’s funny is many recognize him for his 3-point game, but last season he shot just under 42% from that range. And I’m pretty convinced everyone reading this can run faster than him.

In regards to your first question(s): probably not when photos like this exist, and I don’t know? I feel like you just wanted to use “LYING, CHEATING WHORE OF A MAN.” Let Ashton do Ashton. I personally think Korver looks like a Ken doll, what with the stretched facial features/ridiculous side-part. He’s like a cartoon character. How he managed to finish an entire season recording at most three Twitter memes, is beyond my comprehension.

[Ed. *They did pick up Rip, after Kristin had done her write-up]

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