Oh boy did the Pacific division get rocked like a 9.0 Richter Scale earthquake along the San Andreas line. The Cippers, the CLIPPERS!, are the frontrunners for a lot of intelligent basketball people. Chris Paul’s addition throws the whole division on its head with the Lakers now chasing the Griffin and Paul “Lob City” destiny they have planned. Kobe is divorced…from his champion coach Phil Jackson and in his place is former LeBron burper Mike Brown and his defensive schemes. Kobe is not going to a happy guy this season. BUT BUT BUT—the Lakers will have a better regular season record than the Clippers. Kobe Bryant will make this so.

The Los Angeles Lakers still have Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol; two legitimate 7-footers that know their way around an NBA lane and can defend the basket. Bynum will not last the season without an injury. Pau will, but he may still be in a funk over the vetoed deal sending him to Houston. At least he bucked up more than Lamar did. That leaves Kobe Bryant, Metta World Peace, septuagenarian Derek Fisher and new coach Mike Brown to lead the Lakers, and many feel like they can’t do it. Black Mamba LIVES to be underappreciated, and I think we’re gonna see a motivated Kobe that has one year left in the tank. Don’t be surprised when they sneak up on prognosticators and win the division over their city rivals with the new point guard. If anyone can do it, it’s Kobe.

Chris Paul, Blake Griffin and the “Lob City” Los Angeles Clippers have never been in the driver’s seat in LA. They’re not the Driver from Drive, and they’re unlikely to take the driver’s seat without a few bumps along the way. But who gives a shit when you can finally get excited about the Los Angeles Clippers again! There has been a lot written about how Chris Paul will fit in with returning ROY Blake Griffin, just re-signed DeAndre Jordan and another newcomer in Caron Butler, but this has the makings of a possible change of fortune for a Clippers franchise bamboozled by a racist turd of an owner and a string of injuries. If Chris Paul’s knee holds up all year, they’re gonna make a run in the playoffs. LA is a new basketball mecca, but this time it’s staring the Clippers. Get stoked fans.

Steve Nash is Canadian, so people shouldn’t be surprised he hasn’t publicly called on tightwad owner Robert Sarver to trade him to a contender. He’s too nice to make demands like that—all Canadians are nice (Rachel McAdams is a sweetheart). Nash’s Suns are perpetually stuck with a poor supporting cast in Phoenix. Nash isn’t getting any younger, and even with his fruit and vegetable heavy diet plan and extensive core exercises, it won’t change the fact Phoenix isn’t gonna do much in the playoffs, but they will make the playoffs—maybe. Aside from their former MVP at PG, the Suns boasts former Dwight Howard back-up Marcin Gortat (an excellent and underrated big man), Josh Childress back from Europe (one of 3 shooting guards), Channing Frye and returning veteran Grant Hill. They’ll be good, but not great, which is a shame because Nash deserves great and so does the city of Phoenix.

Normally, I’d say the GSW Warrior back-court of Stephen Curry and Monta Ellis would be enough to make them a challenge in any regular season game, but Curry is having ankle problems again, and Monta Ellis might be in hotter water than he was with the Moped incident after signing his first big contract with Golden State in 2008. He’s reportedly involved in sending a graphic photo of himself to a GSW employee. STOP SENDING DICK PICS OUT PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES! That’s not a good sign for a team that had been in Chris Paul contention this off-season. They only have David Lee to provide any sort of offense in their front-court and if Curry’s injuries hobble him and Ellis is sued or distracted by sexual harassment charges, then they may finish even worse than second to last in the suddenly strong Pacific Division.

Demarcus Cousins is crazy. Tyreke Evans might be even crazier. Jimmer Fredette might provoke the kind of crazy in Kings fans that will lead to a restraining order and a bunny boiler in a crock pot. So the Kings are crazy, which suits their perpetually broke, partying owners the Las Vegas. The busted (financially) Maloof brothers are still trying to get the Sacramento public to finance a new stadium so they’re not giving $20 handjobs off the Meth boats in the Sac harbor. John Salmons and J.J. Hickson were alright signings this off-season and they may be good crazy, but right now they just seem crazy crazy, and that could mean more internal fireworks rather than a good team.

pic via the Orange County Register

21 notes

1 year ago

2012 NBA PREVIEW SOUTHWEST DIVISION:

TEAMS (in expected finishing order):

Memphis Grizzlies
Dallas Mavericks
San Antonio Spurs
Houston Rockets
New Orleans Hornets

FREE AGENT SIGNINGS/TRADES/RE-SIGNINGS:

Marc Gasol-Memphis
Josh Shelby-Memphis
Lamar Odom-Dallas
Vince Carter-Dallas
Delonte West-Dallas
Kawhi Leonard-San Antonio
T.J. Ford-San Antonio
Cory Joseph-San Antonio
Marcus Morris-Houston
Johnny Flynn-Houston
Jeremy Lin-Houston
Eric Gordon-New Orleans
Chris Kaman-New Orleans
Al-Farouq Aminu-New Olreans
Carl Landry-New Orleans
Jason Smith-New Orleans
David Stern-New Orleans (new owner)

2012 OUTLOOK:

This division features the defending 2011 NBA champion Dallas Mavericks with a lot of new guys; a Spurs team on its last legs going for one more title with Duncan, Popovich, Ginolbli and Parker; and a franchise that surprised everyone in last year’s playoffs then actually signed their free agent center (Marc Gasol). Oh yeah, Houston and New Orleans too. I’m guessing most will be shocked about putting the Memphis Grizzlies at the number 1 spot, but I think Marc Gasol will do what his brother Pau could only dream about—make the Memphis Grizzlies relevant. With Z-Bo and crew back, I think they’ll take the division and maybe more.

Home of Elvis, BB King and Howlin’ Wolf, Memphis makes most people think of music, or if you’re like me, Blues music. Things aren’t so blue for the Memphis Grizzlies Blue now. Zach Randolph, Marc Gasol, a host of back-court cogs like Mike Conley, OJ Mayo and the invisible man last year, Rudy Gay, make up one of the deepest and biggest teams in the league. Gay is interesting since he sorta, kinda qualifies as their best player, but he was absent during their run past San Antonio and nearly past OKC last year in the Western Conference playoffs. They signed Z-Bo and Marc Gasol to long-term deals and haven’t traded Rudy Gay yet. Can Gay make them a title contender? I think he can.

Shawn Marion needs to grow up and stop this nonsense about respect unless, that is, it’s actually feeding the Mavericks inspiration for this upcoming shortened season. Dirk is back and so is Jason Terry and his tattoo. Jason Kidd brings his creaky knees to the court again as well, but Tyson Chandler, their bulwark against attacking wings (ahem, LeBron), is gone to the Big Apple. In his place, the Mavericks got Vince Carter (hangs head in shame) and Lamar Odom. They’ve also got Delonte West, with medication. This will be enough to again contend for a title, and if anyone get’s “Dirked on” they can win a title, but under-the-radar reports say Nowitzki is still getting into playing shape, which isn’t optimistic for Dallas fans. I don’t think they’ll repeat, but it will surely be fun to watch—except the Vince part. He’s awful.

Gregg Popovich really really likes wine. I can only guess at the amateur sommelier’s feelings on UB40’s Red Red Wine, but it probably harkens back to his days before all the titles with Timmy, when he still had the fire of an up and coming coach. Not anymore. After 1000’s of games and 4 titles in ‘99, ‘03, ‘05, and as recently as 2007, the San Antonio Spurs got eliminated by the Memphis Grizzlies in the first round last year (this after winning over 60 games in the regular season). If Tim Duncan and crew survive the breakneck speed of 66 games in 120 days, they’ll make the playoffs and might even upset someone in the first and second rounds. They don’t have enough to go further than that, and it pains me to admit even a deep trip into the playoffs is a stretch. The days of the Big Fundamental will be swept over by the Marc Gasol and Z-Bo tandem in Memphis Blues land, but Duncan will always be the greatest power forward of all time. RIP Tim Duncan. This is your swan song year, and the cyclical nature of it coming during a shortened season, like your first year in the league in 1999 will be bittersweet for Spurs fans still looking for Eva Longoria in the crowd. Like their title chances, she’s an ethereal specter spectator of yesteryear.

Poor Houston and their embattled GM Daryl Morey. That Chris Paul trade wiped out nearly two years of planning to be in a position to go after Pau Gasol, but after the league’s veto, they’re left with disinterested players that know they were on the chopping block. Sure, Luis Scola is a surprisingly good offensive player, and Kevin Martin is proof that an ugly jump-shot is fine as long as it goes in. Too bad he can’t play defense. Chase Budinger, Jordan Hill and Kyle Lowry make up the rest of this team going no where. It will take new head coach Kevin McHale’s Boston luck if the Rockets hope to end up anywhere but in the lottery.

“Don’t Cry for Me ~~Argentina~~ New Orleans” because you did get Eric Gordon, Aminu and that draft pick. Will your team be a good enough to make the playoffs? No, but Emeka, Kaman, Gordon, Trevor Ariza as a wing SF and Chris Paul disciple (and Georgia Tech grad) Jarrett Jack as their PG will make them feisty. In fact, on paper the NOR Hornets don’t look so bad at all. Kaman can score when he’s healthy. Okafor is an under-appreciated 10 and 10 guy and Eric Gordon is the second coming of Joe Dumars with a smoother jump shot. This team will stink, but maybe they won’t be as bad as I’m predicting.

pic via MemphisFlyer

16 notes

1 year ago

2012 NBA PREVIEW NORTHWEST DIVISION:

TEAMS (in expected finishing order)

Oklahoma City Thunder
Portland Trailblazers
Minnesota Timberwolves
Denver Nuggets
Utah Jazz

FREE AGENT SIGNINGS/TRADES/RE-SIGNINGS:

Reggie Jackson-Oklahoma City
Deaquan Cook-Oklahoma City
Jamal Crawford-Portland
Greg Oden-Portland (sniffle)
Nolan Smith-Portland
Derrick Williams-Minnesota
Ricky Rubio-Minnesota
J.J. Barea-Minnesota
Brad Miller-Minnesota
Nene Hilario-Denver
Aaron Afflalo-Denver
Andre Miller-Denver
Kenneth Faried-Denver
Jordan Hamilton-Denver
Corey Brewer-Denver
Enes Kanter-Utah
Josh Howard-Utah
Alec Burks-Utah

2012 OUTLOOK:

The tenure of David Kahn has been rife with “KAHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN” moments, like signing J.J. Barea to almost $20 million and drafting so many point guards that amount to nothing. But, they’re looking pretty good right now. Oklahoma City didn’t pick up much this off-season, but they’re ~~by far~~ the best team in the conference since Dallas lost Chandler and the Lakers are reeling. Portland has to get over the retirement of Brandon Roy, but LaMarcus Aldridge has become a star, and he will continue to eek out wins with this Trailblazers team that played the champion Mavericks so hard in the first round of last season’s Western Conference playoffs. At least Denver got Nene, and Utah has a great young Gordon Heyward to look forward to (sure to appease the conservative Utah crowd), but it won’t be enough for either team to figure on many wins.

Kevin Durant’s lithe body hides a killer game that should usher in an MVP season from the young forward. Russell Westbrook is back, and hopefully the antagonism with Durant many writers have theorized about is simply a lot of bombast and innuendo. Both Westbrook and Durant are needed if this team is going to perform better than last year’s Western Conference Final exit. That means Serge Ibaka will have to improve offensively (he reportedly spent time working on low-post moves with his hometown Barcelona team this off-season), and Kendrick Perkins will have to be a force down low (he’s recently slimmed down so he can move better). They have all the pieces to win a title. Now lets see if they can.

The Portland Trailblazers franchise took a hit last year when Brandon Roy went down again with that knee injury. He retired, and now it’s on the remaining Blazers to win. LaMarcus Aldridge is a shining beacon of hope though as he’s improved his low-post game and started rebounding more. He should have been an all-star last year, and he will most certainly make the squad this year, but what else do the Blazers have? A veteran in Marcus Camby to help defend the rim; Jamal Crawford providing a scoring punch off the bench; Gerald Wallace to fill the lanes on fast breaks; and point guard Raymond Felton will have to stay in shape long enough to dish to his teammates. They’ll be good this year, but not great. Expect an early playoff exit, and very little time from Greg Oden—who had a set-back with his approximately 543rd comeback this millennium.

KAAAHHHHNNNNNNN! God that’s fun to type. Whether Luke Ridnour starts the season as this team’s point guard doesn’t really matter because I’m guessing Rubio gets the starter’s job before the first month has finished. Rick Adelman’s hire as a coach means the team will over-achieve; he’s done it before in Houston and Sacramento. Then we have the team’s popular Kevin Love, in vastly better shape this year even after a break-out 2011 campaign that saw him make his first all-star team (sorry LaMarcus). He should be ready to continue to board and finish with a flourish. Can Darko protect the rim? Is Michael Beasly really contrite about that cannabis charge to start the summer, and serious about being a better person and basketball player? Can Wesley Johnson be a starting off-guard in this league? All these questions still remain, and they’ll go a long way to determining the Timberwolves fate. I think they may squeak in for a surprising playoff appearance if all things fall into place. It’ll be fun to watch Darko flail around in a competitive playoff game. They might not be great, but they’ll certainly be entertaining.

Denver Nuggets coach George Karl called out Carmelo Anthony after his coup last season to get traded to the Knicks. But, they got some nice pieces back, and they re-signed Nene (which may not be so great depending on how his health holds up). This team did lose Kenyon Martin, Wilson Chandler and J.R. Smith (still stuck in China), but they re-signed Aaron Afflalo and Ty Lawson is an excellent point guard. I put the Nuggets low in this division because I think they’ll do worse without a primary scorer. But, if there’s any team in the league that could do much better than I’m predicting here, it’s this Denver Nuggets team. They could be good enough to make the Western Conference Semifinals, or they could be so bad they’re drafting in the lottery next season. I just don’t know what Karl will do with this group.

The Utah Jazz are starting a season without head coach Jerry Sloan for the first time since 1987. I doubt many of my readers can remember a Jazz team without him as their coach. Regardless, they were unlikely to compete with or without their long-tenured hall of fame coach. They’ve lost AK47 and Ronnie Brewer, and didn’t pick up much this off-season, so what do Jazz fans have to look forward to? Well, Devin Harris can be a good point guard sometimes. Paul Millsap and Al Jefferson provide some offensive production in their front-court and the hard-nosed Raja Bell will provide them some leadership with defense as their starting 2 guard. He won’t start for long though. Gordon Heyward, all white pigment and unshorn locks will take over that spot before the season is out. I really liked what Heyward did towards the end of last year, and I have high hopes from him going into this year. Unfortunately, I think this team will be stuck near the cellar when the 66 games are over.

pic via

18 notes

1 year ago

2012 NBA PREVIEW CENTRAL DIVISION:

TEAMS (in expected order of finish):

Chicago Bulls
Indiana Pacers
Milwaukee Bucks
Cleveland Cavaliers
Detroit Pistons

FREE AGENT SIGNINGS/TRADES/RE-SIGNINGS:

Brian Scalabrine-Chicago
Richard Hamilton-Chicago
Jimmy Butler-Chicago
David West-Indiana
Louis Amundson-Indiana
Omri Casspi-Cleveland
Anthony Parker-Cleveland
Kyrie Irving-Cleveland
Tayshaun Prince-Detroit
Rodney Stuckey-Detroit
Brandon Knight-Detroit
Mike Dunleavy Jr.—Milwaukee
Stephen Jackson—Milwaukee
Beno Udrih-Milwaukee
Luc Richard Mbah a Moute-Milwaukee

2012 OUTLOOK:

Last season the Chicago Bulls snuck up on everyone and won 21 more games than they had the season before. This season they’re not sneaking up on anyone, but they’ve experienced heartache, Boozer is healthy and the division is too weak to really compete—except Indiana. No one wants Indiana in the first round of the playoffs—especially not the Bulls.

[Read A True Fan’s Perspective on the Bulls]

The Chicago Bulls are in a unique position. They have a 23 year-old MVP PG, and very little time to capitalize on him. Derrick Rose became the youngest MVP in history last season, and then lost in the Eastern Conference Finals in only 5 games. True Boozer, disappeared, the Heat went off, Rose ended up hobbled down the stretch with ankle issues, but his shooting pct. dropped off towards the end as he shouldered too much of a load. Rip Hamilton’s signing changes all that, and now the Bulls will trot out Rise and Rip in the back-court, with Noah, Deng and Boozer in the front-court. Plus, they’ve got Korver, Gibson, SCALS and Pargo to back them up. It’s a good rotation and a solid starting team. Enough to take this division and more this season. Probably not enough for the Heat though. No one will have enough for them.

Larry Bird’s Pacers squad had a great off-season bolstered primarily by the signing of West. He’ll add a shooter to the front-court with Parks and Recreation guest star, Roy Hibbert. West and Hibbert go well with Indiana’s gunslinger, Danny Granger. Add a selfess point guard in Darren Collison and a more mature Paul George, and this team could be a 6 even a 5 seed. They’ll make the playoffs, and heaven help whomever they face because it will be a tough series. I could see them beating an aging Celtics team on the road in the first round. Don’t count them out.

Scott Skiles’ Bucks team had every single player out due to an injury last year. Well, that’s what it seemed like after relapsing to familiar lottery territory during 2011 after a surprising 2010 campaign that spawned the “Fear the Deer,” chant and a playoff birth—not to mention the emergence of Brandon Jennnings as their starting point guard (Ben Udrich is a solid back-up and they have Shaun Livingston-RIP—back from the dead as their third PG!). This season the Bucks added malcontent Stephen Jackson and perpetually golden-locked and pale-skinned Mike Dunleavy Jr: the say-hey kid that stroked jumpers at Duke and now handles the rock pretty well for a Milwaukee import. They’ll be frisky, but I don’t see them going any higher than a 1st round knockout, and if injuries to Bogut and Jackson occur, they’ll be in contention for the #1 pick.

Kyrie Irving will back up Ramon Sessions to start the season, but pretty soon, this team won’t be led by aging vet Antwan Jamison and floppy-haired Sideshow Bob look-alike Anderson “pronounce the j” Varejao. Kyrie Irving and Tristan Thompson will start to see more time, and this Cavaliers team will continue to stock up on draft picks in an attempt to undo what was Decided for them. Omri Casspi will help with his length and shooting ability, but this team isn’t very good. Soon though, they’ll be good—so have no fear Cavaliers fans.

Joe Dumars continues to perplex me, but maybe Pistons fans know more. Why did he re-sign Prince when he could have gotten a #1 draft pick w/ a sign and trade? Also, Stuckey is a mistake. I like how strong he is, and it allows him to get to the hole, but he’s not a terrific passer (although he protects the ball), and his jump shot leaves a lot of to be desired. Plus, he seems to have an over-inflated sense of himself after rejecting a $40+ million contract for 5 years. That’s really Dumars’ problem, and last summer ushered in Ben Gordon’s awful contract and Charlie Villanueva’s awful contract. Jason Maxiell might even start over Villaneuva with Wilcox headed to the Celtics. They’re gonna lose and lose some more, but until they get rid of Villanueva or Gordon or both, I don’t see much sun over the horizon. On the plus side, Greg Monroe ain’t too shabby a center in the league these days.

pic via

8 notes

1 year ago

2012 NBA PREVIEW SOUTHEAST DIVISION:

TEAMS (in expected finishing order):

Miami Heat
Orlando Magic
Washington Wizards
Atlanta Hawks
Charlotte Bobcats

FREE AGENT SIGNINGS/TRADES/RE-SIGNINGS:

Shane Battier-Miami
Mario Chalmers-Miami
Eddy Curry-Miami
Glen Davis-Orlando
Jason Richardson-Orlando
Justin Harper-Orlando
Tracy McGrady-Atlanta
Vladimir Radmanovic-Atlanta
Keith Benson-Atlanta
Jerry Stackhouse-Atlanta
Jan Vesely-Washington
Ronnie Turiaf-Washington
Roger Mason Jr.-Washington
Kemba Walker-Charlotte
Corey Maggette-Charlotte
Bismack Biyombo-Charlotte
Reggie Williams-Charlotte

2012 OUTLOOK:

It’s the Miami Heat and everyone else. With Dwight Howard’s future uncertain, so is this division, but regardless of whether Orlando deals Howard before tip-off or during the season, or never at all (and they stupidly take their chances next summer trying to re-sign him), the Miami Heat will still dominate this division and the whole conference and possibly whoever they face in the Finals. Possibly.

With the addition of Shane Battier and the big three with one year under their belt as a team, I don’t like the chances for any other team in the division. Sure, you want a more experienced point guard, Mario Chalmers and camp surprise Norris Cole fill out that role at present, but with Wade and LeBron initiating the offense in a lot of the sets, you really just want players that can knock down open threes. Chalmers can do that, on occasion, and he plays superb defense. If the Heat get any offense or playing time or basically anything from Eddy Curry (everyone would be shocked), that will just be icing on the cake as Joel Anthony filled in nicely at center last season. Wade, ‘Bron and Bosh will be running teams off the court this year as more sluggish superstars are fading into the twilight of their careers (ahem, Kobe). I have a fear the Heat will look unstoppable all year, and then we’ll see how LeBron handles the playoff intensity in the Finals again because that’s where they’re headed.

The Orlando Magic are in No Man’s Land, and it’s not a pretty area. They have a decent roster highlighted by the best center in the league, but with Dwight Howard’s impending exit at the end of the year, there’s no way to tell if he’ll stick around for the entire 2011-2012 season. That being said, they have Jameer Nelson and now Jason Richardson leading their back-court, so there will be lots of opportunities for Stan Van Gundy’s inside-outside game that thrived so well a couple years ago when they made the finals. Turkoglu at SF and Glen Davis at PF is nice, but Turkoglu is a perimeter player now, and Davis is still pretty small—even more so now that he’s slimmed down. They’ll finish second in the Southeast even after Atlanta’s shocking win in the opening round of last year’s playoffs. Then, they’ll implode in the playoffs the moment they start missing 3-pointers.

The Washington ~~Wizards~~ Professional Basketball Team features one of the most exciting young players in the league. Maybe, THE MOST EXCITING. John Wall makes a basketball fan’s stomach lurch like they’re bungee-jumping. His incredible speed and ability to get to the basket and finish above the rim excites even the mealy-mouthed Washington Post columnists. If Wall cuts down on his turnovers and shoots jumpers less frequently, they’re going to be much better this year. He won’t be alone this time either. With JaVale McGee’s continued maturation, Jordan Crawford’s more experienced play and Andray Blatche’s low-post skills—if he’s not dealt before the season, they’re a pretty decent group. Not to mention the additions of kissing Jan Vesely and continued presence of former Magic forward, Richard Lewis’ ~~contract~~ 12 and 5 stat production, or about $1,000,000 per for every rebound and basket. Amnesty wasn’t an option since they need Lewis as their Small Forward. Wall and Co. will still surprise people this year and finish ahead of Atlanta—simply because John Wall willed it so. #TeamJohnWall will be trending shortly.

The Atlanta Hawks are similar to the Wizards in that they’re paying someone, Joe Johnson, superstar money for above average play and not much else. Joe Johnson isn’t even the best player on this team. That distinction goes to the other-worldly wingspan of Josh Smith. He is a fast break dunk waiting to happen; an older Blake Griffin with just as much hops in reserve after a dunk to swat a shot into the 4th row(much to the chagrin of the grinning Bill Russell) going the other way. Josh Smith is a man that should trigger a fear dopamine response in any point guard that lofts up a runner in the lane. It will be driven into the crowd with the exuberance of one that lives to block. That’s Josh Smith. Also, they picked up Tracy McGrady to offset the loss of Jamal Crawford. They still have Al Thornton in the block, and Marvin Williams (yes, #1 pick Marvin Williams) running the wing. They’ll be good, but not great, and there’s no one that can stay with John Wall, LeBron James or Dwyane Wade. Hawks fans shouldn’t be worried though. No one can stay with them.

Corey Maggette will shoot the ball at least 25 times a game this year, and Michael Jordan might strangle a Bobcat’s staffer because they’re gonna be the worst team in this division on their way to ping pong balls and the lottery luck. My guess is their new GM, Rich Cho, might be the one getting strangled, but Cho is the largest off-season acquisition they’ve made (not counting MJ’s enemies among the players now). Bobcats fans might as well start praying for a good lottery position. No way Maggette, Boris Diaw, D.J. Augustin (until Kemba Walker takes his spot), big man DeSagana Diop and Gerald Henderson scare anybody except their own fans. Congratulations MJ, this is your small-market team this year.

pic via

12 notes

1 year ago